You know how when you get a facial, pimples are supposed to pop up the next few days because your skin is just “cleansing itself” or whatever? That’s what March and April are usually like for me. It’s like, for the three months of winter (five if you’re dumb and decided to go to school in New England—holla!), I just soldiered through this season of sustained crap. My hair had more static in it than the radio does when you drive in a tunnel, my puffy winter coat hid the junk in da trunk I got from Swiss Miss and french fries, and I had no incentive to go out on weekends because how do you even dress when it’s 20 outside but volcanic inside a frat house? Do you dress like some kind of Chewbacca slut? Life in a frat house is not like the usual world—but more on that later. So I’m just rolling through this horrible season, and then tra la la, 50 degree weather starts tip-toeing in and it’s like the metaphoric, weather version of a spa facial.
Because, yeah, obviously this semi-dope weather is going to be good for my summer bod—I feel like I have an obligation to be outside, and that leads to activities like “running,” and “playing Frisbee,” but mainly these are just codewords for “looking cute as fuck in shorts”--but for a few weeks my state of mind is just so. . .gross and icky. Great descriptive words, I know, obvi I attend Yale. But seriously, it’s like I’m metamorphosizing out of my winter self and opening a new chapter of summer self (so Oprah, I know), but because I’m shedding gross winter self things, all this random shit comes to the surface. It’s like, winter boy drama finishes with a horrid curlicue of now-awkward conversations, my shorts reveal more flesh than they used to (and not in a sexy purrrr way, either) and spring cleaning means that I’ve rearranged my dorm room and have somehow lost a bunch of random things along the way. Nail clippers, where art thou?!?!
So, in order to combat this annual pimple phase of life, I’ve come to a simple solution. I WILL NEVER LIVE THROUGH WINTER AGAIN.
NBD right? It’s like hello, there are 6.8 billion people in the world, someone has to have a solution on how to get rid of winter. Does anyone actually like winter? Only weirdos who like to make snow angels. Make them in the sand people, simple solution.
Maybe I should rename my blog Simple Solutions.
No comments:
Post a Comment
what do you have to say?