You know who my diet icon is? A daddy long legs spider. Fucking thin as fuck. Are you fat dumps jealous? You should be, you lard fucks. You guys, I'm so skinny I look like thread. Like a fucking string of thread, you assholes. You could use me to sew up your assholes if you wanted, I'm such a fucking slender queen. Fuck, you guys, I'm so skinny I look like what someone who died a few years ago would look like if you dug up their bones, you fat whales, you fat monster beasts. Oh my God, you guys don't even know.
Dana J., Denver
I am literally sitting here eating a giant pomelo (look it up, it's like a grapefruit, but HUGE) and trying not to choke on it. (Cause I'm literally rollin around on some LOLLERSKATES)
There's more where that came from (PS Edith Zimmerman is a hilar individual, I'mma loko (read: "look"--I kept it as "loko" to honor the real fallen heroes of 2010, Four Lokos. But also, our troops as well.) up more of her work:
http://www.theawl.com/2009/10/letters-to-the-editors-of-womens-magazines-with-edith-zimmerman
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