Hi!!! Jinja Safari is this kickin Aussie band that has really pretty music videos. They pretty much all give off the same aura, but it's fun nonetheless!
2. Too Too Hot by Essie
In typical TIFL (is this too much? does TIFL fit the feel of this blog? is TIFL too trashy? NO/YES/NO.) fashion, I have found a new dope-as-fuck nail polish. And it is, tra la la: TOO TOO HOT by ESSIE:
Before this, I was actually an Essie virgin, and lemme tell y'all post-Essie-cherry-pop. . . if Essie were a hamburger, it would have aaaaaall the fixins, if you know what I'm saying. Yes, Essie is aces, and here is why: 1.) Long wear. Literally, I think that's it. Whereas other nail polishes (ahem, China Glaze, you cheap trick) chip within a few days after application, two coats of Essie (with no top coat, even!) lasts forevskis. Like, forget your best friend FOREVER from second grade, because your Essie nail polish will last longer. Sorry to break your little teenybopper BFF necklaces and everything.
But anyways, this color is as hot as the ghost chili of northeastern India, meaning that bright red is IN (because I say so). Get on it ladies (and nail-polish lovin males, we aren't being gender-normative here!)
In typical TIFL (is this too much? does TIFL fit the feel of this blog? is TIFL too trashy? NO/YES/NO.) fashion, I have found a new dope-as-fuck nail polish. And it is, tra la la: TOO TOO HOT by ESSIE:
Before this, I was actually an Essie virgin, and lemme tell y'all post-Essie-cherry-pop. . . if Essie were a hamburger, it would have aaaaaall the fixins, if you know what I'm saying. Yes, Essie is aces, and here is why: 1.) Long wear. Literally, I think that's it. Whereas other nail polishes (ahem, China Glaze, you cheap trick) chip within a few days after application, two coats of Essie (with no top coat, even!) lasts forevskis. Like, forget your best friend FOREVER from second grade, because your Essie nail polish will last longer. Sorry to break your little teenybopper BFF necklaces and everything.
But anyways, this color is as hot as the ghost chili of northeastern India, meaning that bright red is IN (because I say so). Get on it ladies (and nail-polish lovin males, we aren't being gender-normative here!)
3. How Hilarious Moby Dick Is
Guys, I really think that Herman Melville might be my soul sister. I really feel Hermie's humor, even if all my peers tell me that Moby Dick is a horrible book that shouldn't be read. To the haters, I say PAH! How could you not like a book with this line in it?
And I'm not kidding about the epilogue. JK Rowling and Stephenie Meyer better get on their fucking knees because Hermie KILLS IT. But actually though, instead of wanting to vomit after the epilogue (as I did with both the HP and Twilight sagas), I literally almost started crying. And then it happened to be 2AM on Black Friday, so I drove out to the boonie outlet malls to search for J Crew sweaters and happiness, and while I was driving past the infinite expanse of flat farmland (boonies, I'm telling you), I swear I felt lost like an orphan in an infinite expanse of sea (just like Ishmael!) and I was scared and almost started crying again. While I was on my way to go SHOPPING. The epilogue managed to HAUNT me, even while I was under the influence of my ultimate opiate: materialism. Jesus. Hermie. Is. A. God. Are you there Hermie? It's me, Margaret.
Guys, I really think that Herman Melville might be my soul sister. I really feel Hermie's humor, even if all my peers tell me that Moby Dick is a horrible book that shouldn't be read. To the haters, I say PAH! How could you not like a book with this line in it?
". . .he too lives like a Czar in an ice palace made of frozen sighs, and being a president of a temperance society, he only drinks the tepid tears of orphans."You see what I mean? It's like Edward Gorey meets Tina Fey, which basically is me (or my ideal version of me. . .shh, don't ruin the fantasy). Anyways, that's just a tiny chocolate chip of what this amaze-balls book has to offer. There's serious LOL moments, serious hell-ish moments, serious adventure, serious imagery, serious socioreligiopolitical (made-up word alert!) commentary, serious contrast of fate and free will, serious whale classification, serious lack of female characters, seriously amazing epilogue, etc. Basically, anything you could ever ask for? There are puzzles everywhere, just waiting to be solved, and you end up taking out of the book whatever you want to take out of it.
And I'm not kidding about the epilogue. JK Rowling and Stephenie Meyer better get on their fucking knees because Hermie KILLS IT. But actually though, instead of wanting to vomit after the epilogue (as I did with both the HP and Twilight sagas), I literally almost started crying. And then it happened to be 2AM on Black Friday, so I drove out to the boonie outlet malls to search for J Crew sweaters and happiness, and while I was driving past the infinite expanse of flat farmland (boonies, I'm telling you), I swear I felt lost like an orphan in an infinite expanse of sea (just like Ishmael!) and I was scared and almost started crying again. While I was on my way to go SHOPPING. The epilogue managed to HAUNT me, even while I was under the influence of my ultimate opiate: materialism. Jesus. Hermie. Is. A. God. Are you there Hermie? It's me, Margaret.
4. Fix a Heart by Demi Lovato
Call me an ignorant slut, but I fuggin love this song. Sistah can seriously belt out a stick-in-your-head ballad. Though I'm definitely not in good company, as is evidenced by this screenshot of a video that some dumb-as-rocks Demi fan made. It's one of those lyric vids--you know the ones that you can karaoke to if you get drunk on 2 jello shots with your girls and you have nothing else to do because you live in the suburbs and you have to drive everywhere, and you're anti-drunk-driving (as every intelligent human should be), plus everything besides Steak n Shake is closed after 9 pm anyways? Okay whatever, here is a screenshot for the lyric vid:
Okay, let's just talk about how "savertise" is 100% not a word in the English language. And even if people thought it was, it's like, come on Demi fans--it's not like Demi's some sort of vocabulary goddess who's going to go all Jerome Shostak on your ass! She's a Disney star! The only vocab she knows comes from her catch phrases on Sonny With a Chance! Granted, she's actually saying "sever ties" so you can see the mix up, but all I'm saying is that if you google "savertise," literally every result is about this song. Come on Demi fans, pump up that IQ, you're proliferating a really sad stereotype about American teens who like Demi Lovato here. Which makes me look bad! ugh ugh ughhhh #DemiLovatoFanProbz
Call me an ignorant slut, but I fuggin love this song. Sistah can seriously belt out a stick-in-your-head ballad. Though I'm definitely not in good company, as is evidenced by this screenshot of a video that some dumb-as-rocks Demi fan made. It's one of those lyric vids--you know the ones that you can karaoke to if you get drunk on 2 jello shots with your girls and you have nothing else to do because you live in the suburbs and you have to drive everywhere, and you're anti-drunk-driving (as every intelligent human should be), plus everything besides Steak n Shake is closed after 9 pm anyways? Okay whatever, here is a screenshot for the lyric vid:
5. The Fact That Demi Is Turning Into A Kardashian/JShore Hybrid:
Girl.
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