yale is sex deprived

or, Yale just likes to get naked.

I (and the 132 other anatomy-interested people around me) just witnessed approximately 42 naked women and men toting backpacks full of candy prance through the library. It's the way we celebrate finals week eve--with a healthy dosage of bouncing genitals and mammary glands. And shitty candy. 

Seriously, let's address some beef here nudists of Yale. I get that you're naked, but that's no fucking excuse to give out fucking mentholated cough drops as candy! If anything, that's like drug dealing, but worse. It's shit-dealing. Those people may be liberated and sticking it to the man by being nude, but they need to get on John Kerry's level cause I hear that John Kerry's wife hands out giant ass candy bars to kids for Halloween. And it's like, do the 4-year-old Buzz Lightyears or Princess Jasmines of the world really need a candy bar? No! Those hoes eat paste! Give me the candy bars Democrats! I have a freshman 15 obligation to fill!

But alas it is a cruel and unjust world (as we all know because only in this type of world would Miley Cyrus have bigger boobs than me) from which I can only reap cough drops and views of naked boys and their 

s, which I suppose isn't that bad. . .

The above picture is my dorm with the word COQ (pronounced cock) written on it quite festively with Christmas lights. Though seemingly sexual, it actually is a reference to my residential college's mascot, the beloved thundercoq.

Anyways, there are three morals of this story: 1.) Miley Cyrus is a baby prostitute, 2.) I will participate in at least one naked event by my senior year and 3.) I need to paint my nails you guys, and seriously I think my nails grow faster than normal people's because they have litz grown like a .3 cm in 2 weeks. That's kind of a lot you guys. Concerned.

Overheard while writing my first 20 page paper, and almost caused me to throw up from held in laughter: "I had this Slovakian exchange student and he wanted my friend to give him a chest bump, but he didn’t know what to say, so he said 'Come on my chest.'"

 Apologies for a semi dirty/shitty post. Finals week is cray cray.