i'm back in my childhood home

My mom basically sterilized my room so now it looks bland despite the fact that this is still obvs the best room in the house. You can only do so much when your Asian mother insists that the original mental asylum white walls are "clean" and "pretty"--pshhh whatev Mom, only if your definition of "clean" includes the stifling of my creative spirit! It does.

Regardless, being at home is still baller.

Yesterday, I got on the plane and stifled all my nasty ass hacking coughs just in case all the other passengers thought I had TB or something (hell no was I getting kicked off a flight even if I was carrying TB, fuck the others, I wanna go home!) and went through a period of intense hypochondria:

Due to my illness, my ear has become totally congested over the past weekend, it felt (and feels) like some sort of weird pressure is in it and it won't pop. So apparently getting on a plane makes all that shit worse. I spent a good hour and a half (aka, my entire plane ride from Newark to the Nasty Nati, but actually I flew to DAYTON because it's cheaper) awkwardly opening my mouth in order to try to get my ears to pop. And despite the total awkwardness of it all due to my orthodontist-induced jaw problems, my ears just would not pop. And so the pressure built and built and built to the point where my ears were about to explode and I was just sitting there freaking out. Because I legitimately was convinced that my eardrums were on the precipice of explosion and that I would go back to school deaf. 

And I thought about Anne Frank and how hard it must have been for her. And then I thought about Helen Keller, because I realized that Anne Frank was actually a persecuted Jew who kept a diary and not deaf and blind. And then I wondered if Yale even had a sign language class and if not, if I would have to start reading lips. And then I thought about this J Crew ad 

Because her lips just look so damn good in that poppy color! (FYI: That color will be so in this spring, just to let you know) And then I thought about Harry Potter and freaked out because what if my being deaf would prevent me from enjoying HP7P2?!!?!?!? Especially after I had such a Dobby-licious time at HP7P1?!? 

And then I fell asleep and when I woke up, my ears no longer hurt anymore, but also they remain unpopped to this very moment!

But anyways, my mom freaked out and thought I was probs on the verge of dying and took me to the doctor today. And that darling doc made hundreds of dollars off my 15 minute consultation and gave me a prescription for antibiotics. And I silently did a cartwheel and a woohoo in my head because not only am I not deaf, but also because antibiotics basically means avada kedavra'd acne. 

Gah it feels good to be home. And not deaf.

However, if you wanna get in the giving spirit and donate to the deaf: 

http://www.nad.org/donate-now