currently: questioning the pale kiwi i just ate

Kiwi fruit should be a vibrant green, yes? Well imagine my disappointment when I freshly saw open one of those hairy suckers and the pulp is this jaundiced vomit color. I imagine this is what a kiwi undergoing chemotherapy would look like. I ate it anyways. No amount of food discoloration can keep my HONGRAY-NESS at bay!

So I'm actually becoming really inspired to do a lot of things in these upcoming 4 years of my life--basically, I've been reading a blog from my future college (not like a "admitted students" lame-o blog, but an actual good, quirk-filled bloggy blog; you can find it here: http://www.yaledailynews.com/sceneblog/?page=3 I actually have directed you to the third page because I was reading the third page. . .you know how to navigate, I'm assuming) and this blog is just an embodiment of the person I would like to be.

My StuGo adviser told me that I will go to college and become a hippie-esque character, to which I'm just gonna say, here's hoping she's right! Hippie less in the sense of traditional no shave, patchouli-wearing, peace sign bearing, but more just free. Which may or may not go against traditional stereotype of the bright, hardworking college years. However, really, when else am I going to have the liberation of being incredibly, incredibly, philosophical and self-centered? Never.

It's difficult to begin to navigate my future--I feel like a sailor in a ship in the middle of hell knows where trying to pull out my trusty telescope and feeling the urge to scream LAND HO! If only because it's such a fun thing to scream. But, alas! I see no land. I don't know where the fuck my boat is even headed, but I do know one thing, and that is that one day I will die (and my ashes will fly in an aeroplane over the sea--neutral milk hotel, holla!) so I might as well live it up on my boat and if I find land while living it up, so be it! (of course, a little part of me knows that I have to find land, as that is what is rational) So basically, to conclude this tizzy of a metaphor, I'M ON A BOAT!

So I'm at once a bit scurred and also a bit McPumped (fuck me, I hate saying the word pumped) for college. Because it's all just a part of the Great Unknown--which, like all great things in life, is a combination fantastical and frightening. (ie. lions, Santa Claus, Mean Girls, Harry Potter)