too much hw / snow day 4

1. Cornflakes
     They be good.

2. The Olympics

      So you know how women are all emotional but kids typically aren't unless they drop their Popsicle on the ground? Well when I was little, I always wondered when I would be moved enough to actually cry during a movie. Basically, to me, that was the ultimate sign of maturation. . the ultimate sign that I had become a woman. I remember the day: December 31st, 2002, aka New Year's Eve, aka I was 10. My friend Jessie was having our annual NYE Party at her house and I had written 2003!!! in red watercolor on my forehead prior to the party, you know, in the spirit of getting glammed up for our glammity glam party full of cats, streamers and 10 year olds. Unbeknownst to me, I had actually pulled a Karen Smith (a la Mean Girls) and put it on backwards, and also the red apparently didn't show up very well. After a night of scandalous adventure (aka we played hide and seek until we all got tired around 10:30) I was all "Uhm, why have none of you commented on my glorious representation of the coming new year that I've placed on my forehead?" except it was in 10-year-old speech, so I had locked myself in her bathroom and sobbing and I was all "Oh my gosh, you guys are so mean, why don't you like what's on my head ?!?!" and my 10-year-old friends tried consoling me by saying "I didn't even know you had written something! I thought your Dad hit you or something and it left a red mark!" through the door. To which I was appalled not because they thought my Dad was abusive, but because they didn't recognize true artwork from hit marks. So being already emotional, I started sobbing as we watched Lilo and Stitch, because, you guys!! Lilo was being so mean to Stitch and he was so cute and didn't even do anything really bad. It was so mean, and I had so much empathy for Stitch it was ridiculous. So I was crying and thinking "Oh my god, I'm a woman," so I tried to make myself cry even harder because that just meant I was more of a woman. And thus began my life as a mature adult.
        Anyways, since then, I've only gotten worse about crying. And with the Olympics on, I've found myself on the verge of crying basically every night. Because you guys!! The Olympics are absolutely magnificent and unlike anything else in the world. Despite the fact that it's a competition, it's the most amazing display of world unity and togetherness. And you really see athletes working to make their countrymen proud, and all these amazing stories are out there. For example, last night, Canadian moguls skiier, Alexandre Bilodeau won the first Canadian Gold on Canadian soil and hearing him talk about how his brother Frederic has Cerebral Palsy and is his inspiration to go to practice every day just moved me to the point of crying until I was basically dehydrated. Also Chinese pairs figure skaters Shen and Zhao have the most beautiful love story and I was just like a soggy lump on my couch watching the Olympics.

3. Middle School Couples
       HAHAHAHAHHHAHHA. Middle school couples rule because a.) the girls are ALWAYS taller than the boys. And b.) they always hang out at Target. I guess the fluorescent lighting and Spider-Man themed children's clothing is quite the aphrodisiac. And let's be honest, they have braces, and that just makes any situation that much more fantastic (think Ugly Betty you guys!). As a middle schooler, I was never pretty or obnoxious enough to be part of such an evanescent courtship, and I'm still not sure if I'm grateful about that or if I'm missing a crucial part of adolescent development, like what if never awkwardly getting dropped off to they movies by my bf's mom  mars the rest of my adult life? As a thirty year old in my psych's office I can be all "Well, so and so never asked me out in seventh grade even though we were totally meant to be, so maybe that's why I kick my husband in his sleep so much," which would be terrible. But I suppose it's not really a big deal. Looking back at my middle school crushes, one is no longer the spiky-haired, pink-shirt-wearing teenybopper heart throb he once was and the other is still my friend so I think I'll be okay and content with laughing at the seventh grade SCENE kids holding hands in the silverware aisles of Target.

4. http://www.webdesignerdepot.com/2009/05/100-extraordinary-examples-of-paper-art/
      Whoaaaaaaaa. This is the kinda thing that makes me wanna just be like "Mom, Dad, I'm going to save you a lot of money and not go to college. Instead, and you'll be so excited to hear this, I want to be an artist. And make sculptures out of paper. No seriously." And then be told that I am being dense.
         But wow seriously, I wish that I had some kinda talent to do things like this. AWeSoMe!! <-- not a fan when people do this, so I'm doing it ironically. Just wanted to, ya know, point it out, despite the fact that pointing it out kinda ruins the point, but it's whatever.

5. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uy0HNWto0UY

            In celebration of a belated Valentine's Day (which btw I'm going to go on a tangent about right now: V-day has a cute premise, I will concede. . .however V-day gifts are generally shatty, low-quality pieces of crap like ugly, commercialized, Kmart-brand, gross-looking polyester teddy bears or boxes of chocolate that are in stupid heart-shaped boxes. Ick! Ick! Ick! And don't even say it's the thought that counts because it doesn't in this situation because really what are you even thinking when you buy that kind of crap, "Oh, gotta get my girlfriend something for Valentine's day, let me just waltz into Walmart, buy a pack of batteries and some beef jerky and oh a TEDDY BEAR THAT SAYS I WUV YOU?!?! Yeah that'll get me some ass fo sho." No. Just no. Unless you live in a trailer or are dating someone who resembles a character on Jersey Shore, that kind of felony is unacceptable. Get your girl something useful for V-day--like rollerblades or a VS bra. The only use for that simpering low-grade teddy bear is fire starter, get that shit outta here!--okay that's all), I present to you this short film that is tres adorable.