Sunday, January 29, 2012

!!! alarm sounds !!!

Today, I've discovered that I've developed a Pavlovian response to...

THE SOUND OF CELLOPHANE WRAPPER CRINKLING.

Literally, once that sounds occurs, I suddenly become extraordinarily hungry--and I tend to crave salty, crunchy or protein-filled snacks (read: chips, beef jerky and a Wenzel). Uh oh.. not healthy. Is this sort of Pavlovian response even possible? Or am I just absolutely mental?

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

new favorite animals.. endangered species edition!!

Special thanks to The Biodiversity Project for exposing me to these amazing creatures!

1. Budgett's Frog
I know that the images to the left look like googly eyes on silly putty but alas, they are pictures of a true, slimy, heart beatin' froggy! The Budgett's Frog is native to South American countries and is on the verge of being endangered due to habitat destruction and all that shiz. And I know you'd love to have that always goofy grinning face in a cage on your desk every morn, but unfortunately for you (and me), the Budgett's frog is extraordinarily unhappy in captivity. Additionally, it is aggressive and known to bite humans with its two sharp mouth protrusions (no teeth). It is also called (quite horrifically) the Freddy Krueger Frog because it opens its grinning mouth and screams when it's scared. This frog is basically like a weird little thing that is actually sort of evil but funny to look at. And I love it--it perfectly suits my hunger for all things "quirky macabre."




2. Eurasian Eagle Owl

I really only like this one because its scientific name is Bubo Bubo. Also, this species of owl was named "Helsinki Citizen of the Year" in December of 2007. Finland. . .

3. Spectacled Owl

Another owl?!?! I know, right? But isn't it very clear why I like this owl? Doesn't the picture on the right just pulsate the phrase "I don't give a fuck" with the no-nonsense look radiated by the owl's slightly lowered lids? Sometimes, you need someone to share an exasperated look with, and usually it's Ron Swanson, but I would say Ron and the owl are pretty much interspecies dupes of each other:
Also, this is the Wikipedia entry for the owl in the "Behaviour" section:
The Spectacled Owl is a nocturnal species of mature forests. It nests in an unlined tree cavity, laying two white eggs. It preys on mammals, even the much larger three-toed sloth,[3] large insects, and birds, including smaller owls. The call is a deep hooting BOO Boo boo boo boo becoming softer and faster.
I lol'd.

4. Vulturine Guineafowl






So beautiful, yet so ugly--if the vulturine guineafowl were to represent an entire subsection of humans, it would represent old money WASPy families with expensive clothing, Gucci bags, and horrifically carnivorous personalities.

5. Prevost's Squirrel

















D'awwww--I love squirrels so much already because they are so funny, and this particular squirrel has the same funny cute factor, but also the X Factor, which in this case means "Resembling a wonderfully toasted marshmallow."



6. Hibernating Arctic Ground Squirrels!!!!!

not dead, just hibernating!



















I can't even explain my amazement at this animal, so I'm just going to quote directly from The Biodiversity Project, and hopefully your jaw will be hanging as low as mine was:
Hibernating Arctic ground squirrels (Spermopilus parryii) at the University of Alaska at Fairbanks. This animal is the grand champion of all hibernators. It's the only mammal that can drop its body temperature to below freezing. They hibernate for seven months. Females go in first, in August. Males follow a month later. They come out again to feed on tundra plants in May. Biologists at UAF have been studying the animal for 20 years, but still can't figure out how this animal maintains a flat body temperature for all those months just above freezing. "You could put people into hibernation for space trips if you could understand it better," said Franziska 'Fran' Kohl, one of the biologists here. "They also show symptoms of Alzheimers during hibernation." She added that traumatic head injuries heal when in hibernation, another thing scientists are trying to figure out. 
Holy crap, right? Hibernate for seven months?! Their body temperatures drop to as low as 26.8 degrees fahrenheit?! They show signs of Alzheimer's during hibernation!? Traumatic head injuries heal during hibernation?! ALIENS!!!!!! Literally why are they even alive, if they are in hibernation for more than half their life? Because they are an alien species sent from extraterrestrials to study human behavior in extreme cold. Perfect aliens, because we don't suspect at all because they are cute.

7. Satanic Leaf-Tailed Gecko

I always respect a good camouflager. Also, slightly horrifying? Satanic, word. 


8. Hawk Headed Parrot
"Oh haiiii guys! What are you talking about? Oh, my crown? Oh, my beautiful turquoise and red crown? Oh I always forget I have it up! Take a picture of me. Wait, lemme pose! Take another one!"


9. Brazil Poison Frog



















I like this frog because it's one of the trendiest m-f'ers around, because, just look at Proenza Schouler's spring 2010 runway looks (on a model and on J Alba):






















10. East African Crowned Crane






Just rocking a golden afro.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

dino tails


email subject: Dinner Party Saturday

Comrades: As you all know too well, I am a raptor carnivore, yet I enjoy polite company and dinner parties! I invite you, fine comrade, to join me in eating your brethren--in rare steak form of course! Reply at your convenience. 
Regards, T. Rex

Re: Dinner Party Saturday
ughh, can't, i'm vegan.. #brontosaurusproblems
-b

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

happy shopping period

love from the lemuridae family! 

Monday, January 2, 2012

digital + gimp = instagram-y

Yo people of the internets! I've stated in the past that GIMP is something that I freakin love--and it still is, as it's allowing me to be as zeitgeist-y as possible. "What zeitgeist?!" you ask, and I answer that the current spirit of the times is borrowed nostalgia from a disposal camera era molded to fit into an increasingly advanced technological world. Or, in one word: Instagram! Y'all know Instagram is popular as shiz in the iPhone-toting community. So, in the spirit of the times, check out my new found GIMP ability to make digital photos look like "nostalgic" instagram-y ones. PS. I kind of hate Instagram and embrace it at the same time.. it's just one of those things. You know, like chicken nuggets or Dakota Fanning.